My sadness is deep today without a doubt.

Not for Carter Payne or the loss of him on my mamas birthday ~ I believe without a doubt they are celebrating in a way we will only understand when we get to join them in The Kingdom of Heaven (YES! I DO believe I’m going to Heaven some day)!

My deep sadness is for those of us left behind to continue to live on without either of them to make our days better ~ happier, just by existing.

I had been with Carter every since I found out he was growing in his mamas belly.

I was fortunate to be a part of watching him grow with lots of visits from his dad and mama. As well as being a part of his big brother and sister growing stages.

Coming to “Aunt Mae’s” was hopefully as big of a treat for them as it had been for my family and me ( I KNOW it was without a doubt)!!

They knew about the paddle that resided on my wall with the phrase ATTITUDE ADJUSTER written down the handle.

They ALL knew the law: “If I take it off the wall ~ it HAS to be used!”

I’m pretty sure my daughter is the only one that had it used on her (well probably Carters dad too. lol).

I would make lots of good food and family would stop in and out to visit as well.

Carter was our second REAL redhead in the family (my oldest niece, the other~ our very first niece, born on Christmas Day and Carters aunt).

April of 2015, I was attending the Retirement Ceremony of my Nephew from the United States Air Force.

The American Flag that had been placed upon the coffin of my own father (Carters Great Grandpa who he shared a birthday with) was escorted into the ceremony by men in uniform.

The service men began unfolding my lil daddy’s flag and another service man spoke of the story of the importance of the folding of the American flag upon the death of a loved one who served our country.

Afterwards, the re-folded flag was presented and saluted to the retiring Master Sergeant David Payne (my oldest and very first grandchild /son in my family). One can only imagine the pride and beauty of that very moment.

Except it became even more profound, personal, and BEAUTIFUL as the Master Sergeant walked over to his son, Carter Alexander and said:

“On April 18, 1930 there was a great man born who served to earn this flag.

On April 18, 2000 another great man was born…”

His father then he placed the flag in my great nephews hands and saluted HIM with the honor bestowed upon them both.

I can only give you this tiny, tiny insight to the even slightest of just how loved and cherished Carter was/is to our Family!

Carter loved playing pranks on his old Aunt Mae along with his dad and mama (think Maddie’s graduation kids)!

I would threaten F. O. A. Over the phone for his next visit to Missouri ~ to both him and his sister!!

I ALWAYS kept my word 😉💕

One of the very few things that are keeping me from totally losing it ~

Carter was born on my lil’ daddy’s birthday and passed away on my mamas birthday.

For ME that means he IS in The Kingdom of Heaven sharing Love and Goodness wherever WE are ~ KNOWING the outcome of everything else in THIS Life is going to be OKAY in the end!

So today as I get my walkabout on and I sing:

🎵…Where O’ Where Is Carter …🎵

I KNOW he’s wrapped in ALL the Love we are feeling in between my own mama and lil’ daddy!!

I know you’re not RESTING in Peace, Red ~ You are LIVING and CELEBRATING in Peace!!!



Published by

Ms. Mae

A Funny, Intelligent, Tenacious, and FIERCE Woman!

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