Anyone else out there a 🎶…High-Fivin’-Motherfucker…🎶 because AT LAST it’s Friday?!? (Thank U Local H)
I keep forgetting my intentions for this blog was originally supposed to be motivating ~ inspiring each of us to BE FIERCE and to STAY FIERCE!!
Those are still my intentions but in all reality ~ I own way too much sarcasm to encourage anyone to be anything but brutally honest with a shit ton of sassy.
I do believe it makes the rest of us weirdos get through our week a little better.
Feel free to correct me at any time off I am wrong.
I can take what I dish out (for the most part).
It was supposed to be a short work week with the MLK Holiday on Monday.
The idea of a four day week and to get paid for five days is a win-win ~ right??
How funny is Life?!
Wednesday as I head out on a thirteen-degree morning, around 5:15 AM, I am channel surfing on my shitty radio hoping for a news update or even better ~ a tune to help get me moving on my forty-minute commute.
OH WAIT!!Let’s back up for a minute or twenty.
Until this past Wednesday morning I had been driving all freaking winter (and let me tell you ~ negative below zero windchills) long with both drivers and passengers windows broken and only closing halfway (feel free to make that sentence a positive if you can)!!
Back to my original story... I am cruising along, estimating exactly how late I was actually going to be clocking in at my job (no matter what ~ subliminal or not~ I am late). Just happy as heck’s I was warm on my too early morning drive.
I started wondering if there was dense fog or maybe it was raining? I could not tell in my still sleepy haze ~ the caffeine hadn’t kicked in either. But damn my headlights looked dim.
Hey! So did my panel lights…
What the hell was going on?
Then I heard IT. The whirling sound of the alternator warning me I was shutting down soon. I turned that beast around right in the middle of the damn road ~ I had to make it back home before I could NOT!
I called a friend who lived close to find out what her location was so not only if I broke down before I made it home ~ just maybe I could still get to work?!
The Universe Can Be Such A Bitch ~ Especially to Ms. Mae (there is a middle finger in the air stating the world is number one; fuck you)!
I began shutting everything off that would drain what was left of the battery life pleading with it ~ hoping to make it home.
This ChuNkY GaL had no intentions of footing it in the frigid cold ~ not even if I rubbed my thighs together could I generate enough body heat to make it.
I ran a red light.
Yep I did and I am more than positive the camera that is atop the light pole took picture of my plates.
I will have to deal with that one when the time comes ~ no use multitasking worries.
I was praying OUT LOUD hoping God would hear my pleas if I screamed loud enough.
He must have.
I slid that bitch into the road of my driveway just before it shut down.
I thought just maybe I could turn the ignition over one. more. time. On the chance of making it all the way into the driveway and out of anyone else’s way.
The Lord would only grant me my prayers of making it home ~ I was grateful to Him for that solid.
After sitting for a day and a half, out of work for two days pay, an old schoolmate came over and had a new alternator in and ready for Friday’s entrance and exit for my workweek.
To “Henry and his wife, Daisy” THANK YOU FOR YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!
I am so not worthy!
Be Kind To One Another, Learn Big, and Enjoy your weekend PeePs!
And by all means STAY FIERCE!
~ Ms. Mae